


Healthy Curiosity

by rancetherapper (alannalaleona)



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Comeplay, Humiliation kink, M/M, Object Insertion, Praise Kink, You Have Been Warned, Zach gets fucked by a cucumber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:39:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3285563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alannalaleona/pseuds/rancetherapper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Gesturing fruits or vegetables at staff is sexual harassment,” the sign reads. Oh shit, Zach actually does feel bad now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healthy Curiosity

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a picture of the sign mentioned in the story on tumblr. I can't believe I actually wrote this.  
> Thanks to my sister Alanna for being my beta and all around awesome.

Zach is drunk, and when he’s drunk, he likes to cause havoc.

AJ would argue that causing chaos is Zach’s default state of being. But he can’t deny that alcohol brings out that side of him even more.

Zach’s not sure how he managed to convince AJ it was a good idea to take him grocery shopping at 11:30 at night, especially since he’d been drinking Four Lokos since 6 pm. AJ will probably live to regret this.  Zach’s pretty sure he already does. He sees AJ purposely go to a different aisle, shooting Zach furtive glances as he goes.  Zach is laughing.  AJ thinks he’s so sneaky.

The store is basically deserted so Zach is as loud as possible.  While skipping around the store and performing some obnoxious rap he made up, Zach nearly runs into an employee who is busy sweeping the floor in the fresh produce section. AJ studiously ignores him a few aisles away, caught up in selecting the groceries they need to survive for the next few days.

“Heeeeeey,” Zach says, steadying himself on the slender man’s shoulders. The guy is brunette with stubble dusted artfully along his jaw.  His brown eyes catch Zach’s and the irritation aimed at him is almost enough to kill Zach’s Four Loko buzz.  Zach ruffles his hair sheepishly.  Ah, who is he kidding.  He’s drunk. 

“Can you please watch where you’re going sir?” the employee asks, exasperated. Zach tries to read the guy’s name tag but his vision is too out of blurry for such things. He gets up in the guy’s space as he squints, trying his best to focus.

“Frankieeee right?” he finally slurs out. Frankie rolls his eyes.

“Yes. You now know the name of the person you’re bothering. Get out of my way, some of us have work to do.”

Zach is a bit peeved by Frankie’s rudeness so he decides to torture him a bit. He casts his eyes around for a prop and his face lights up when he notices a display of cucumbers. He seizes the biggest one he can find and brandishes it at Frankie.

“Heeeey, you want some of this pretty boy?” he asks lewdly, thrusting the smooth green vegetable in Frankie’s general direction. To his surprise, Frankie doesn’t even blush.

“Oh please, I’m sure you’re not even half that size. And you don’t exactly look like the type to take charge if you catch my drift.” Zach mouth drops open. The smirk on Frankie’s face is infuriating, like he knows he’s won. Zach can’t have that.

“Yeahhhh? Maybe we should test that the-theory right now!” Zach throws the cucumber carelessly back into the bin and starts to unbuckle his pants. He can’t let this asshole one up on him, he just can’t.

“Are you for real?” Frankie giggles, and that makes Zach even more annoyed.

“What, you too chicken to have a measuring contest?”

“Sounds more like gay chicken to me,” Frankie mutters.

Luckily, AJ chooses that exact moment to rush over, the wheels of his mini-cart squealing as he goes.

He’s red faced when he reaches them. “Zach, what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, clearly having noticed Zach’s hand on his open belt buckle. Zach shrugs, doing his belt back up.

“Noooothing, dude. I was just gonna teach _pretty boy_ here a lesson.” He gives Frankie a challenging stare, and Frankie responds by throwing his arms up, daring Zach to bring it on.

“Oh my god.” AJ says, clearly mortified. “I’m so sorry about him; he shouldn’t be in public right now. Or ever.” AJ shoots Zach a glare which he misses completely, totally captivated by the sparkles on Frankie’s pants. Was that even allowed in grocery store uniforms?

“Don’t worry about it,” Frankie assures. His professional demeanor is back and he ignores every scowl Zach tries to send him. “Kids these days, can’t handle their liquor.”

“IT WAS FOUR LOKOS!” Zach blurts, only to find himself ignored by both men.

AJ seems to be finished shopping so Frankie rings him up, perfectly polite the whole time. Zach pouts at his good mood being ruined. Oh well, he still has one Four Loko at home. The thought cheers him up marginally.

Frankie continues ignoring Zach until he and AJ are walking out the doors. “Have a good night boys!” he waves. Zach turns back to give him the finger and he wonders if he’s imagining the predatory look on Frankie’s face or the way he licks his lips.

* * *

 

The next morning Zach feels like death. AJ has no sympathy though, the bastard. He forces Zach to get his own water and Asprin and refuses to tell Zach exactly why he’s so mad at him.

Zach groans dramatically. “C’mon dude! I’m sorry if I embarrassed you again, but just tell me what it is so I can fix it or whatever.”

“Well,” AJ begins in a condescending tone, “Everything was peachy until you convinced me to bring you to the grocery store. Then you threatened an employee with a cucumber and almost dropped your pants right there. So yeah, I basically died. Good thing that guy was so nice. Frankie, I think his name was.”

Frankie. The name jogs something in Zach’s brain. He suddenly remembers gesturing at Frankie with a cucumber and offering to engage in a dick measuring contest. Sounds like something drunk him would do. Normally he wouldn’t even bother with an apology, but the situation is absurd even for him.

“You should go apologize tonight,” AJ advises, “SOBER,” he adds as an afterthought. Zach rolls his eyes.

“Fine fine. But I’m waiting until my hangover goes away first.” Now it’s AJ’s turn to groan.

“It’s going to be a long day,” he says tiredly.

* * *

 

Zach’s hangover takes _hours_ and _hours_ to dissipate. He doesn’t stop complaining the whole day so he ends up feeling bad for AJ by the end of it. Sort of.

 Eventually AJ pushes Zach out the front door at about 11:30, telling him that the store will close soon. Zach just hopes that Frankie is there so he can apologize for being a dick.

He takes his time walking, almost hoping that Frankie will be closing up by the time he arrives. There are still 5 minutes until that though, so Zach walks into the fluorescently lighted store with more confidence than he feels.

Sure enough, he finds Frankie sweeping in the produce area just as he had been the night before. A new sign has been erected next to the cucumber display that reads “gesturing fruits or vegetables at staff _is_ sexual harassment.” Oh shit, Zach actually does feel bad now.

“Um…” he says, by way of announcing his presence. Frankie turns around, expression unreadable as he looks at Zach. He’s even better looking than Zach remembered, with chocolaty brown eyes to match his hair and a sculpted body that’s evident even though his uniform.

“Did you see we put up a sign in your honor?” Frankie asks with his hands on his hips.

Zach’s shoulders slump. “That’s actually what I’m here about. I’m sorry dude. I was really drunk and acting like a lunatic. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

Frankie smirks. “On the contrary.”

Wait, what?  Zach scampers after Frankie as he crosses the store, apparently on his way to lock the front doors.

“I’m the night manager, so I’m the last one here most nights,” Frankie explains. “But now we’re the last ones here. And I thought you might want to have a little fun.”

The look on Frankie’s face is positively devilish as he walks back to produce to grab…a cucumber? Zach is a puppy at Frankie’s heels and he can’t help the strange stir of excitement that’s starting to swirl in his stomach.

“My office is this way. Keep up!” Frankie shouts over his shoulder, and Zach finds himself hastening to obey. What the fuck has he gotten himself into this time?

Frankie disappears into the bathroom for a moment before seating himself behind this desk in his surprisingly large and lavish office, surveying Zach predatorily as he stands before him with flushed cheeks. “Frankie, what are you-“

“You seemed _very_ interested in the cucumbers last night. And seeing my dick. But the cucumber seems more adventurous, don’t you think?”

If Zach’s cheeks were red before, now they’re positively flaming. He pauses. “I’m a little slow sometimes but… are you implying you want to fuck me with a cucumber?”

“Finally he catches on,” Frankie murmurs, he leads Zach around his desk and pulls him onto his lap where Zach can already feel his semi.

“Fuck, Frankie. How did you know I was…”

“I can spot a bottom from a mile away,” Frankie brags, just as he pulls Zach into a kiss. Zach whimpers into the heat of Frankie’s mouth, at the way Frankie just forces his tongue inside to slide together with Zach’s. It’s embarrassing how turned Zach is already, grinding against Frankie in his lap, mind stuck on the cucumber that’s sitting innocently on Frankie’s desk.

“Do you have stuff?” Zach asks breathlessly after a few more moments of making out like horny teenagers. Frankie laughs.

“Needy aren’t you. I hope you’ll be good for me tonight, Zach. You were so _bad_ the other night.” Zach groans, his dick twitching in his pants at the words.

“I’ll be good. Just hurry.

By the time Frankie has Zach naked and bent over his desk, Zach is panting and begging for more than just Frankie’s three fingers which tease at his prostate. Frankie chuckles cruelly at his eagerness and presses his clothed erection against Zach’s ass, his hole dripping with the amount of lube he used. Zach feels flushed and needy, completely out of his mind with desire.

“Fuck me, I’m ready,” he demands, earning himself a sharp slap on the ass.

“Good boys wait patiently,” Frankie reminds him, kissing the sweaty nape of Zach’s neck. “Don’t you want to be my good boy?” Zach can’t help the desperate sounds that come out as he jerks his hips forward and his cockhead rubs wetly against the desk.

Zach finally gets impatient enough to turn around and is greeted with the sight of a medium sized cucumber Frankie had covered with a condom. They both giggle at that, the sight completely ridiculous despite their mutual arousal.

“What?” Frankie shrugs. “We can’t have it snagging anything in there.”

“Okay Mr. Safety expert. Now fuck me.”

Frankie coats the cucumber with a generous amount of lube, teasing the smaller end of it against Zach’s rim. He slides it in gradually. Zach can’t believe how incredibly turned on he is, both by the fullness and the dirty feeling of a foreign object penetrating him. Even if it is surprisingly cold.

Frankie seems to be enjoying it too. He’s whispering encouragement into Zach’s ear, sucking on his neck. Then he sits back and watches the way Zach’s body opens to accept the cucumber.  

After he’s adjusted, Frankie starts thrusting it in and out without Zach even having to beg. He also twists it, changing the sensation constantly so each twist takes him by surprise. Zach doesn’t think he’s going to last much longer, not with the intensity of his humiliation and pleasure at being fucked over a desk by an extremely dominant sexy man wielding a cucumber that feels fucking huge with the way it stretches him wide.

“I’m close, Frankie, please,” he whimpers after a few more moments of agonizing pressure. Frankie adjusts the angle so the smaller end of the cucumber continuously jabs at his prostate. Frankie’s hand closes around Zach’s dick and he comes hard in stripes against Frankie’s desk, marring the beautiful mahogany with white.

Frankie keeps the cucumber in with one hand as the other unbuttons his pants and frees his achingly hard dick.  
“Can I come on your back?” Frankie asks eagerly, hand already working a steady rhythm. Zach nods and groans a few moments later as he feels the hot liquid drip down his back onto his ass, probably getting the cucumber even more sticky.

Eventually Zach has to jerk Frankie out of his post orgasmic bliss to remind him remove cucumber that’s still sticking half out of him. Zach is no stranger to pain but it was getting uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” Frankie giggles. He buttons up his pants and slowly removes the cucumber, causing a wince from Zach. Frankie then grabs tissues from his desk in an attempt to clean them both up a bit, namely Zach’s come covered back. He throws both the cucumber and the tissues in the trash unceremoniously.

He makes sure to be careful as he helps Zach get up and get his clothes back on. Zach knees are a little wobbly. He leans against the desk to try to alleviate some pain, but truthfully he kind of likes it.

“Holy fuck,” Zach says, “That was the weirdest most amazing sex I’ve ever had.”

Frankie shrugs. “Eh, definitely top ten.” Zach punches him the shoulder.

“Shut up, pretty boy. I just let you stick a cucumber in my ass, have a little respect.”

“So you’re into object insertion, humiliation, being submissive, and praise kink?” Frankie asks, sounding a little too excited about these topics for someone who had come mere moments ago.

“Yeah, so?”

“Our kinks are compatible. I’m just saying we should do this again sometime. Well, not this specifically. There are probably better things than cucumbers we could use but I did so enjoy the irony.”

“As long as it’s not carrots,” Zach says with a shudder. Frankie raises an eyebrow at him.

“The more you know,” is Zach’s grave response. Frankie can’t stop the shit eating grin from spreading across his face. He is going to have fun with this boy.

* * *

 

“And then, he fucked me in the ass with a cucumber,” Zach finishes through a mouthful of Doritos. AJ freezes, dumbstruck.  His mouth is gaping open.

“Seriously?” he asks.

Zach tries and fails to contain his smirk. “Anyway, how was your night?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comment/Kudos? >:)


End file.
